Secrets Best Kept Hidden
by eyeslikeashowroom
Summary: The Clique is perfect, on the outside. They're envied, admired, everything they should be. But each member has a secret, and they'd die if anybody found out. R&R!
1. Massie

**Hey guys! So this is like a series of little one shots that I decided to write. I'll have one chapter for each of the Clique characters, and depending on the feedback I may continue to do other characters as well. This story may be slightly AU. Let's just say that it takes place during the summer before 9th grade, Alicia and Massie met in 5th grade, they met the rest of the members in 6th grade, Massie got Bean in 7th grade, and Claire came like towards the end of 8th grade. I think that should cover everything! Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Massie Block<em>  
><strong>Starve.<strong>

Massie Block is _that_ girl; the girl girls want to be, guys want to date, and parents want to have. She's worked hard for her reputation, for her fame, and she's proud of it. She's gorgeous, impeccable, flawless.

But not _really_.

Massie's childhood was three things: pressured, social, and competitive.

It was competitive because after hearing her mother talk endlessly about being the best at her job, at the country club, in the neighborhood, of the parents, Massie knew one thing and one thing only: she needed to be the best too. At age 5 she skipped off to preschool with her designer shoes, designer dress, designer lunchbox, with Mommy and Daddy's words pounding in her head: "Be the best, Mass." And she _was_. All the little pre-schoolers loved her prim clothes, her shiny, mahogany-colored hair, _everything_, and young Massie soon learned that when you were born leader material and had good looks, it was easy to get people to follow you. And for the ones that didn't want to follow her, Massie realized as she grew up that with less charm and more force she could get just about anybody to follow her and do what she wanted. And so she was the best, _always_.

Her childhood was social because her mother always made her go everywhere, insisting that she meet new people, make new friends, blah blah blah, and by the time Massie was 10 she had the newest phone packed with hundreds of contacts and tons of disposable friends she could call when she needed. She met Alicia in 5th grade when the Latina was the new girl in school, her immaculate style and stunning looks immediately catching Massie's amber eyes. And from then on they were best friends, a force to be reckoned with, and everyone wanted to be them, know them, and be around them.

Her childhood was pressured because nothing was ever quite enough. It wasn't until around 7th grade that Massie noticed this. She always thought her mom was looking out for her, doing what was best, and maybe she was. But as Massie grew older it became too much.

It was when she got Bean, and she was 13. She refused to let Alicia play with her new puppy, and Alicia had a bitch fit, blew up, they called each other horrible names, and they didn't talk for three weeks, which was a _long_ time. And in that time, Massie was lonely, and she ate. She ate when she was bored, when she was frustrated, when she felt alone. And in two weeks she gained ten pounds, which she knew was severely unhealthy. But she had never had a weight problem before so she didn't know how to handle the changes.

Her mom _did_.

Massie didn't notice when her mother started giving her smaller portions, when the food she was scraping off her plate at dinner became smaller and smaller. Or, when her mother suggested they go to the gym sometime, which never happened because Massie found a better solution.

When her mom asked if she had been putting on "a few pounds" Massie snapped to reality, because she'd always wanted to be perfect, the _best_ for her mom. And that night when she looked in the mirror it was apparent; she could see the newly forming bulge of her stomach, the thickness of her thighs, and it disgusted her.

She waited until everyone was asleep, crept into the bathroom, turned on the fan and the faucet, tied her long brown hair up with a pink, sparkly hair tie (she remembers), and puked all she had into the toilet bowl.

A week later, after regularly participating in her newfound hobby, she felt a little better than before, and she called up Alicia and they made up.

And when Alicia asked, "Have you gained weight?"

Massie shrugged and nodded slightly. "I'm taking care of it."

Now, more than a year later, the shiny, porcelin bowl is still her best friend. Nobody's found out yet, and Massie considers herself so fucking lucky, because with the weight she's been dropping she's surprised nobody's said anything.

Her mother commented, twice. The first time when Massie was 14, and she praised her daughter for looking so fit. Massie beamed when her mother let her have an extra brownie for dessert, and she beamed after she threw it up, too.

The second time was last month, when 8th grade year was ending. Her mother's reaction was not so praising, and Massie couldn't blame her because she weighed 90 pounds and was struggling to maintain it and not drop lower.

"Massie, is everything all right, dear? You look like you've been losing an awful lot of weight."

"I'm fine, Mom. I promise." She had never lied to her mom, so her mom was forced to believe her, but not without giving her an extra slice of meatloaf at dinner and making sure she ate it all.

Massie was fine with eating it; she wasn't anorexic, after all. Her stomach had been empty most of the day, considering she'd already barfed up the feast she'd snuck for breakfast, consisting of three bowls of Cheerios, a banana, two apples, a chocolate chip granola bar, a honey bun, and four glasses of orange juice. After that she'd skipped lunch because she didn't feel like throwing up for awhile; her throat had been burning.

Long story short she happily ate the meatloaf, and after her mom went to bed and Massie snuck five brownies and two slices of chocolate cake, the extra meatloaf was just a little _extra_ that she had to vomit up.

Massie was happy with the way her throwing up made her look, made her feel, minus the sore throats, headaches, and hunger. And all of her friends wanted to look like her; Alicia, Claire, Kristen, and especially Dylan, and Massie always told them her secret was to stay active and eat healthy. Total lies, of course.

One time Massie thinks Claire is going to figure it out, because the blonde reaches out and grasps Massie's upper arm, comments on how thin it is.

"It's okay, Claire," she immediately snaps, feeling bad when she sees Claire cringe. "Hey, I'm sorry. Look, let's have a movie night? With tons of snacks!"

Claire agrees, and they watch Breakfast at Tiffany's while they both scarf down pretzels, M&M's, chocolate Bars, popcorn, and gummy worms. Claire can eat without worrying, because she never gains a pound.

But Massie does, and that's precisely why she knocks back four cans of Coke during her binge; the fizz always helps it all come back up.

She waits until Claire crashes from her sugar high, is slowly slipping into sleep on Massie's bed, to make her way to the bathroom. She does the routine; door locked, fan and faucet on, hair up, on her knees. She grabs her toothbrush and sticks it just far enough (she's become a pro), and it all comes up relatively easy because of the disgusting amount of pop she drank.

Massie grabs the toothpaste, squirting some on her toothbrush and furiously brushing her teeth so she can get back in the bed next to Claire before the blonde notices she's gone; she hadn't been completely asleep, but Massie couldn't hold off on her purge any longer. As she spits into the sink she hears a soft knock.

"Massie, are you okay?" she hears Claire call groggily. "You've been in there for awhile."

Massie slams her toothbrush down quickly, shutting off the faucet and grabbing a towel to dry her mouth. She yanks the door open, greeting Claire's disheveled blonde hair with a grin. "I'm great!" she chirps, going back to the bedroom and leaving Claire to trail stupidly behind her.

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it! Please R&amp;R! depending on the reviews I should have the next chapter up soon. I'm thinking it's gonna be Alicia!<strong>


	2. Alicia

**This chapter could be viewed as little M-ish, but I'm still trying to decide if I'm going to change the rating. Just a warning.**

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><p><em>Alicia Rivera<em>  
><strong>Fuck.<strong>

Alicia Rivera always got what she wanted. _Always_. Ever since the wee age of six (or at least that's the earliest she remembers), everything she's ever asked for has been handed to her by one person or another. Clothes, makeup, shoes, boys, etc. If Alicia wasn't getting what she wanted, something was wrong.

She can recall one important time that she didn't get what she wanted.

5th grade, Ms. Connor's class

5th grade was when Alicia met Massie. She remembers, because she was new, and had been thrown into the sudden, uncomfortable feeling of being left out and gawked at. Alicia had been an early bloomer, and by 5th grade she was already sprouting breasts and needing deodorant and nobody else was and it was _embarrassing_.

But while everyone was not-so-secretly whispering about her breasts behind cupped hands, a certain amber-eyed, brunette beauty had noticed Alicia, her shiny hair, her designer clothes; all the good stuff about her.

And Alicia quickly learned that this girl's name was Massie, she liked to be a leader, and she was arguably the most popular girl in school.

Alicia thought their personalities would clash at first. She had been taught to not let people tell her what to do, and that was one of the many things Massie Block was fond of. But the Latina knew she needed friends, so she quickly became Massie's right hand and also the second most popular girl in the 5th grade.

5th grade was also when she met Bryan Wilson.

Bryan Wilson was like _the one_ for Alicia. At least, for the fifth grade her. All she ever thought about when the name Bryan Wilson came up was a dress, two rings, and standing underneath the tree in the courtyard at recess where everyone had their first kiss.

Bryan Wilson didn't really notice her like that though. They were math partners, and while he did addition, Alicia admired his blonde tufts of hair, sparkling blue eyes, and Spongebob bookbag. She also made sure to make her mom put her hair in curled pigtails every day, so she could twirl them around her fingers and look cute.

Her crush for Bryan Wilson continued into 6th grade, and then 7th grade, and then by the summer before 8th grade it was still going full force. By then, Bryan was taller than her and his blonde hair was longer, in that sexy skater/surfer boy way, and Alicia was a lot more "developed" and a lot more flirty.

They were at the lake. There was a bunch of people there; Alicia, Mass, Kristen, Dylan, some slight-LBRs, and the boys. The boy included Derrick, Josh, Kemp, Chris, Cam, and a bunch others. But more importantly: Bryan. Alicia scoped him out all afternoon, and when she saw him sneak out on the dock for some alone time, she followed him.

"Hey," she said, sitting down next to him. She scooted closer so their thighs were touching.

"Hey," Bryan replied, doing the little hair-flip thing that she absolutely loved.

Alicia smiled, flashing her dazzling pearly whites as he smiled back.

And that's when Alicia told him her confession, that's when he laughed in her face, and that's when she pushed him into the lake.

After that she stomped home with Mass and the girls. Once they were all seated in a circle in her room, and repeatedly asking her what was wrong, Alicia finally told, begrudgingly.

Kristen rubbed her back sympathetically, Dylan suggested she eat some ice cream, and Massie immediately started scrolling through her contacts for a new boy toy.

"Mass it's fine," Alicia breathed, trying her hardest not to cry anymore. She was too good to be broken down by this. By an idiot boy named Bryan who was probably right now explaining to everyone why he was sopping wet and had to drag himself out of the lake.

Her cellphone rang and Alicia snatched it up, flipping it open. "Hello?"

"Oh hey, Alicia," she heard a guy say on the other line, and even in her distressed state she had to admit he sounded sexy.

"Hi," she said, her tone inadvertently switching to flirtatious as she sniffed and wiped the runny mascara from under her eyes. "Who is this?"

"It's Austin Rowe. I heard what happened with Bryan. He's a tool. Let me take you out sometime, you need a real man anyway. Not a pussy like him."

Alicia could recall seeing Austin around school when she was a sixth grader, and at football practices; a tall, toned, dark-haired hottie with piercing blue eyes and who would be a sophomore in high school this coming year. She had barely acknowledged his hotness, instead focusing all her attention and energy on Bryan. What a fucking waste.

"Oh, sure," giggled Alicia. Austin was clearly very cocky, but she decided she liked it.

"Cool." They made plans for next week, planning to see a movie and then chill at his house. Alicia hung up and squealed with her friends, the whole Bryan ordeal forgotten momentarily until Alicia went home and cried herself to sleep.

Next Friday, Alicia made sure everything about her was perfect; her tan, her makeup, her hair, her outfit, her shoes, even her breath. Who knew if Austin would want to get a little close to her in the theater? Maybe he'd even try to kiss her! She adjusted her blue, ruffle tanktop and tugged down her super short American Eagle shorts, smoothing down her long hair and waiting anxiously.

Austin's older brother Jared, a senior, drove them to the movies. When they got out of the car, Austin placed his hand on the small of Alicia's back, thanked his brother, and said Alicia looked gorgeous. She in turn complimented his adorable Abercrombie jeans and blue Hollister shirt, because it brought out his eyes and he was so hot and she had decided he was a very nice gentleman.

They were seeing a romantic comedy that Alicia didn't even know or remember the name of, and during it half of her attention was focused on his hand on her knee and if her hair was frizzing up. About halfway through the movie he turned to her with a lopsided smile, white teeth gleaming and lips looking extremely kissable. Alicia had never kissed anyone before, but even she knew you weren't supposed to kiss on the first date. Still, when Austin leaned and brought their lips together, she was happy to go along with it.

It was wet and awkward, but she wasn't really sure how it was supposed to be any way so she decided it was great. She was a little uncomfortable when he immediately started using tongue, but if that's how the older boys in high school did it then she should probably learn now, right?

His hand squeezed her shoulder and then slid downwards, abruptly squeezing her breast and causing Alicia to gasp and break away. She glanced around them, now realizing why Austin had wanted them to sit in the back of the theater, in a corner.

"Shh, baby, it's okay," he told her softly, smiling a smile that comforted her and made her feel safe. "No one will see us." His hand traveled down lower and Alicia jumped, pushing his hand away.

"Yeah, but-" she protested.

"Look Alice-"

"My name's Alicia," she said, her brow furrowing.

"That's what I said," he replied, looking frustrated. "I just wanna help you forget about that douche Bryan. Alright? Now calm down."

Alicia bit her lip, letting him press his hand against her crotch until her body began to grind upwards slightly without her permission.

"See, ya like it don't you?" he whispered triumphantly, yanking her face towards his and kissing her hard. "You want me to teach you somethin?"

Alicia nodded. This hot sophomore boy actually liked her and wanted to teach her something. She couldn't help but be curious.

"Unzip my pants," he told her as he reached to squeeze her breasts. "Man, you've got huge tits. Anybody ever told you that?"

She nodded, her fingers resting against his zipper.

"Well do it," he nodded at her. She did, even though she knew she shouldn't. He pulled his member out, and Alicia's eyes widened, never having seen one before. "Now get on your knees right here and put it in your mouth."

"No!" she blurted, feeling her face flush. "That's...gross."

"Trust me Alicia, every girl in high school has to do it eventually. I'm just trying to help you out, ya know?" She hesitated, nodding reluctantly after a moment. "Good. Now suck it like a good little girl."

And Alicia did. Austin told her how to stroke it and swirl her tongue around the head of it so it felt real good. And when the movie was over they walked out of the theater holding hands and waiting for Jared to pick them up. Austin sat in the back seat with her, his hands up her shirt and lips firmly attached to hers. His brother congratulated him.

"Thanks Jared," Austin laughed, winking. "You wanna watch when we get home?"

When they got to Austin's house he immediately led Alicia to his bedroom, and like a lost, little puppy she followed behind him. Pretty soon both their clothes were off and naive little Alicia couldn't believe Austin wanted to have sex with her. She didn't _want_ to. But the way he was staring at her and touching her gave her an obvious message: they were going to have sex, tonight.

She stared at his penis as he hovered over her. "I...but I'm a virgin and-"

"It's okay," Austin said. "I'll go easy." But he didn't and Alicia cried out when her hymen broke and she felt a tear slip down her cheek. This was not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to have a nice date with a boy who was supposed to like her.

But Alicia knew that lots of people had sex and thought it felt good, and wanted it. So why couldn't she want it? It seemed that she wouldn't have much trouble getting it if most guys were like Austin. Alicia liked getting what she wanted.

Austin came on his sheets, mumbling about how he'd have to clean them because Alicia refused to get it on herself. It was pretty much the only request of hers he listened to.

He made his brother drive them home, and he walked Alicia to the door, causing her to think that maybe not all hope was lost; maybe Austin was still a polite gentleman not just in it for sex.

He kissed her cheek and she opened the door. "Hey," he said, and she turned around. "Don't tell anybody about this, okay?" He smiled at her. "It'll be our little secret." Alicia nodded and he patted her on the butt and walked away.

Alicia didn't tell anybody, but obviously Austin did, or his brother did, or something. Because soon Alicia got calls from tons if guys. She didn't go out with all of them, but when she did most of them tried to touch her or bang her. She didn't agree to have sex with any of them, realizing she needed to put her foot down. But everyone still learned that Alicia Rivera would give up at least something, even if it was just a handjob or a blowjob.

She tried calling Austin a week after their date, and he answered and said he'd call her the next day because he was busy. He didn't and Alicia called him instead, and he didn't answer. He never called her back.

Alicia wanted Austin, because she thought he was polite and liked her. But she couldn't even have him, which made her angry. She was Alicia Rivera; she could have whatever she wanted.

And so at age 13 Alicia Rivera was assigned a label that she slowly came to realize and except: _slut_.


End file.
